The Darker Side of Me / Take a peek INSIDE / Writing Blog / Horror Blog

Why do I doubt what success is? Why do I question whether I am good enough to continue writing? Why in the hell do I wake at two in the morning and question everything and when I finally get done tossing and turning, I fall asleep and dream of time travel? These are all questions that I can’t answer. To stay positive in this life is a difficult task. I am often dark minded and those who have worked with me, read or edited my fiction, or know me personally, my circle is very small, know that positivity doesn’t come easily, and doesn’t freely leave my mouth.

So when you read my rants, watch the videos I post, or even have a conversation with me and I come off as knowing all the answers, as being successful, in some form or another, hold up the “T” to take a time out.  I guard my negative, dark, thoughts, I keep them close to the chest, and it takes a round or two of conversations before the “real  me” actually comes out. I try to stay as positive as I can in this life, especially during these times. I don’t have many reasons to be miserable, or at least as many reasons as so many others can justify in their own lives.

Maria and I pay our bills, we travel, we love our dog and our adult children, does that mean happiness? For me personally, no, it means we’ve done well enough to have accomplished the little bit we have. It means that when I post something I may give the illusion that I’m always a ray of sunshine, these posts are mostly random. This post has taken a turn for the best, this post means that I just unveiled an ugly side to me, and I think all of you can relate. I post this as a reminder that no matter how positive, no matter how fluffy someone’s life may appear, it is a cloak to what is actually going on, inner turmoil is real, and some choose to keep a deep dark secret. There’s always a darker side, and I’ll always try to let you in a bit, to take a look around. I hope when you do enter, my dark side doesn’t bite, but if it does, put a band aid on it and move on, it was nothing personal. Thanks for reading!