There’s a dark moment in everyone’s life, and this year, I’m feeling mine. There are those very personal issues that I’d rather not dwell on, but that darkness has crept up and forced me to recollect what really makes the holidays so special and brings joy to my life. In order to pick up and thrive this season, live in this moment, this will help. Everything negative in life, will eventually come back a positive, after all, energy takes both the plus and negative. Hindsight, foresight, and the sight to muddle through my trials and tribulations by therapeutically writing this will get my red on, and no I don’t mean for work, get my green on, the okay to “go”, and eventually get my Christmas lights up, sorry neighbors that I didn’t have them up and turned on for Thanksgiving Day.
The joys in my life are simple, and yet I hold them like I imagine a greedy pirate holds gemstones or gold to their bosom. The first joyful tear that happens during this time of year is when a familiar holiday song plays. It’s one of those slow, symbolic songs that remind me of someone that has passed away and someone I miss with all my heart. It ignites that sometimes over-active tear gland, it’s that tear which reminds me that all of my lost loved ones, family, friends and close knit network of life, are all still around me somehow, and they’ve helped me become who I am today. Whether it was by an action, or kind word, or their laughter when I was sullen and melancholic, they chose to be a part of my life, and I theirs. As I recollect the past and those special people, the song plays sullenly in the background pulling those strings of memories elegantly playing them.
I think of a time when my wife and I celebrated our marriage. I looked out to the masses of people sitting in the pews, some of who would pass away in our future and life together as we joined as one. In hindsight it brings a tear, but in foresight those that have moved on were able to share that sacred moment, they were able to help us grow strong in our beliefs and grow stronger in those vows by all of the support. It was joy, and writing this is really stirring those old emotions that will always be anchors in my life that keep me from drifting away and disconnecting. That eternal flame and ember still burns as if it were yesterday and the love we shared then means even more today because of the losses and gains we’ve both made as husband and wife.
Life works enigmatically, it swirls, peaks, valleys, rises and falls, but most of all it is a pleasure to breath and be a part. My children, they bring contentment, their accomplishments, their failures, as much as we may beat ourselves up about these, are all a part of them growing up, and we as parents growing another silver hair in the tedious process. It’s being able to separate from that anxiety, separate from the moment, because that stress is just a blink of a second in the larger scope of things. We can focus on the positive and allow ourselves immersion into the depths of the season, by not getting sucked into the vortex that will throw all off balance.
This time of the year stirs a lot, and regardless of that dark demure shadow that creeps into our lives and tries to snuff out the light of life. The light is stronger, and prevails, and I will take it. I will take my tears and relish in all of those memories that mean the most to me, and each time I think I don’t feel that spirit, as joyous as it is, I will rehash with an old friend, time, song, or place we’ve been on our journey in life. I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and the best year ahead. The memories we shape today help to forge a stronger life and exultations to come.